I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
