they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize