I am spending my child support on dildos
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
