She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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