the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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