i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
