great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
