did you get engaged???
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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