All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
