youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize