Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Randomize
