Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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