would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
