yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
