.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
