I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
