i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
