I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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