u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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