Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
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