There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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