when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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