I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
two words...techno handjob
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
