I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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