At least make sure they are 18
Why
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
