I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
