Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Randomize
