OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
