i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
