...so i touched it.
this beer tastes like vomit already
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
