well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
