Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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