somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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