Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
