If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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