1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
i believe in u and ur pee
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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