GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
