please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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