i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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