White coat. Heels.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
