My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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