he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
