your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
