he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
i need some magic done to my vagina
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
