i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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