i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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