how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
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