I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
