Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
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