I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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