he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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