Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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