i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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