Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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