Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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