Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
