it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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