im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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