brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
3pm strippers are depressing
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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