Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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