I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
