I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
