At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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