Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
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